Today would have been our monthasary if our confessions worked out right.  (I assume your beating round the bush means no?)
Instead, today, I am struggling to convince myself to retreat to the safe friend zone, where happily ever afters do exist, just in a different way.  :)

Thank you for your carefree smiles, friendly shoulder pats, and those casual letters with your slanted handwriting.
Thank you for being my mindless dream, thank you for listening and dreaming with me.
Thank you for giving me inspiration and motivation.  Thank you for being here, and then slipping away.

Dear friend/crush/everything in between,
I wouldn't say I loved you, it's too strong a word for me to understand at this point of time.
But I really liked you a lot, and I wished we had a chance to learn to love too.

I tend to think a lot, too much sometimes.  Recently, I've noticed more and more often that this really isn't a good sign at all.  Especially in times like this, when a decision is supposed to be made, I struggle.  I do not know how to pick and I'm too afraid to pick.  So I stand still, I refuse to move.
And then, when the crowd moves on, I'm left behind instead.

I think there are people out there, in the same situation, trying to make a choice.  Probably choosing a movie, deciding whether or not to buy a new dress, a new car, not sure whether or not to get a pet.  Or perhaps, like me, wondering what to do after getting my high school results.
I wish there are people out there in the same situation, trying to make a choice, people who would understand my confusion.
And yet, at the same time, I wish no one else had to be in this state of confusion.


On this day, God wants you to know that you learn what you do. If you worry a lot, then day after day you are learning how to worry even better. If you think about doing something a lot, then you are learning how to think about doing. Every moment you are happy, you are learning how to be even happier. Every time you act, you are learning how to take an action even better. What is it that you've been learning today? What is it that you want to learn tomorrow?

On this day, God wants you to know that humans learn only by trial and error, and that includes you. You've got to live life, not think about it. Step into the midst of things, try and fail and learn and stand up again. The question is not whether you will or will not make mistakes - you will. The question is do you want to learn and grow, or do you want to shrink back and be stuck? Take that step you've been avoiding. You can succeed, or you can get feedback that it didn't work, but in either case you are sure to feel alive.

On this day, God wants you to know that you are to trust yourself. If you do not, then you will forever be looking to others to prove your own merit to you, and you will never be satisfied. You will always be asking others what to do and at the same time resenting their help. Trust in yourself starts with being ok with the consequences of your decisions.

Dear October,

I miss you already, come back to me.
Can't we start over?  :(

给亲爱的自己，

很快就要新的一年了， 我知道你最近有点心情复杂。

有点紧张明年的考试，又有点后悔没有好好在今年打好基础。

有点期待，又有点舍不得。

有点不想长大，又会害怕自己长不大；可是心里面有个声音说慢慢来就好，到底要不要听呢？

今年的事就让它乖乖的呆在今年就好。

那些开心的，不开心的； 做得好的，做得不够好的。。

不要把它带到明年，那是新的一年。

剩下最后十分钟就2011年了，你要继续加油， 懂吗？

好了，快去睡了。

:]